Dear Readers,
I'm sending out my sincerest apologies for not writing very frequently. You see, it's been a busy few weeks. Much drama, but that always makes for good blog-writing (especially at UIS).
Until I get more info on my major topics *cough cough* I need help Tony Vetter *cough*, I leave you with a few less-gush-worthy tidbits.
Some of you may know that an Aldi has appeared near our wonderful 6th street. My housemate and I decided to check it out. We went in looking for three simple things: Frosting, Toothbrushes, and Mustard. What did we come out with? A whole shit-load of crap. Good crap, mind you. ANNNND we spent less than what we would have spent at Walmart. I vote a win on that one.
Even though I purchased me some "Crispy Oats" instead of "Cheerios".
Off-brand stuff isn't so bad, your pocketbook will thank you later.
I have also decided to try out a new experiment. I plan on complimenting people on things more often, but instead of using a polite tone, I'm going to yell at them. I'd loveeee to hear how people react. So, if you'd like to join in, please leave a comment on how people respond. I may just write my thesis on something such as this.
Once again, my sincerest apologies. Please yell at the Vice President of WafflesNMore, Tony Vetter, for not giving me the help I crave for my next bad-ass post "The Types of Guys You Meet at UIS" (or something of that sort).
<3 Lily
PS: Don't you hate when you meet someone at a party then decide to add them on Google+ a week later, and they have no idea who you are?
Gosh, I just want more friends on the Plus. =/
Love ya Tim K and Shawn =] Acquaintances for life.
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
11 Types of Mean Girls (And How to Beat Them)
We all have them, the "mean girls" in our lives. Some of them may be your close friends, others are just noticed from afar. Here's a list of the types of mean girls I've encountered, and how you can beat them.
(**Warning: Offensive Language and Adult Situations**)
1. The Victim
Description: This type of mean girl will constantly play the "everyone hates me" card. She has friends, yet craves even more attention. Possibly the most annoying of all the mean girls.
Why She is "Mean": If you do not show her enough attention, she WILL turn against you by informing others of her status as "The Victim". This will turn you into a piece of shit in the eyes of those who she complains to.
How tobeat deal with them: If you do not want to spend countless hours telling this girl that she is pretty or that she has friends, simply ignore her. This can be tricky. You will look like the bad guy for a little bit, but in the end, those who she complains to will figure out her game and you will be back on top. Trust me, you have better things to do in your life than deal with this girl.
2. The Shit-Talker
Description: This is the girl you can get any information out of (seriously ANY information). She knows what's what and who's fucking who. Chances are, everyone knows this girl has the info, and they just can't get enough of that sweet, sweet gossip.
Why She is "Mean": Well, besides the obvious reason of shit-talking, this girl can ruin your social life (which may or may not be important to you). There is the possibility that this girl will make up things about you, spread them around, and make everyone think you have herpes. Let's face it, herpes is just about the most horrible thing anyone can catch.
How to Beat Her: This one's tough, you want the shit she talks, but don't want to get screwed (or herpes) in the process. You have two options: (1) sacrifice small bits and pieces of your own secrets to get your fill on the people you want the skinny on, or (2) sacrifice your gossip sessions. Gossip is bad anyways. You don't need that shit in your life.
3. The Dumb One
Description: Sweet, but no street smarts.
Why She is "Mean": This girl doesn't even know she's mean. Chances are, you don't either. That makes her quite dangerous, friends. She tries very hard to comfort you, yet says things that just don't make sense. It can hurt. This is probably the least mean of the mean girls, yet still has the tendency to hurt your feelings.
How toBeat Coexist With Her: When she says stuff that makes you frown, simply say "Ouch". She doesn't know that she said something hurtful, so make it known. Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy.
4. The Boyfriend Stealer
Description: Every time you bring a guy home, she flirts with him. She's constantly talking about your man, and the funny shit he did in class today. By your second week of dating him, she's fallen in love.
Why She is "Mean": Shes taking your future sexual partners away from you, how embarrassing.
How to Beat Her: If you don't slap this bitch across the face the first time it happens, she'll probably do it again. For those of you who prefer the less violent route, its time to fight fire with a fire extinguisher. This girl probably has at least one decent looking ex-boyfriend, you should hit him up on facebook. If she sees the friend confirmation, it may set her off (giving her a taste of her own medicine). If she doesn't see the friend confirmation, you best be writing on his wall, or calling him up, or bringing his happy ass over. Just make sure he's not a total psycho first. He may want what you want, revenge. If not, boy toys are always fun for a few weeks, plus it will get this mean boyfriend stealing ho off of your future lays.
5. The Drunk Girl
Description: This girl parties hard. Drinking to get drunk, not because she likes the taste of her liquor. When she gets drunk, she gets nasty.
Why She is Mean: This highly-annoying drunk bitch can ruin your perfectly good time. If she is a friend, she may need babysitting all night at a party. How the hell are you gonna get it in if you have to take care of this drunk all night? If she's not a friend, this drunk girl can ruin your chances with Mr. Right, spill shit on you, or knock you into a wall/ugly guy. Not fun.
How to Beat Her: You could always hide her liquor. But that may make for a mean sober girl. You could replace her alcohol with water or other liquid bullshit. I'm not condoning drugs...but....... ... You could constantly dodge her, or not invite her to the parties you will be at. There's a strong possibility that a lot of other people do not enjoy the company of this drunk girl, therefore she probably won't be invited to all the "cool kid" parties you attend.
6. The Passive-Aggressive Bitch
Description: She says things that make you want to hit her, but she says them in a nice(ish) way.
Why She is "Mean": This actually happened to me recently: A girl told me that I should date a guy she knew. She said "Oh, I've been on a few dates with him, but you can have him". Bitch, I do not want your sloppy seconds. This girl is mean, mean, mean and you can't really do much about it because she says it oh so very sweetly.
How to Beat Her: Be passive-aggressive, or just aggressive, right back. Simple, no? Or you could just slap a ho.
7. The Stuck-Up-Your-Ass Girl
Description: She follows you EVERYWHERE. The bathroom, the kitchen, your bedroom. She's there.
Why She is "Mean"; If this girl is following you everywhere, you don't get to meet new people, she scares off your possible lovers, and she knows a shit ton about you. This can be bad.
How to Beat Her: Find someone else she can be a pain in the ass to, like the Dumb Girl (she won't know whats up). Dump her onto someone else and get your life on.
8. The Sneaky Bitch
Description: She does stuff, and you don't know about it. It could be nailing your boyfriend, or stealing your toilet paper.
Why She is "Mean": She's doing shit, and you don't know about it. Very uncool.
How to Beat Her: If you know about her, you've already started to beat her. She fucks your boyfriend, you tell her love interest. She steals your toilet paper, you take all of the toilet paper in the entire house and trash her room. Or, you could just confront her. Your choice.
9. The One Who "Knows Everything"
Description: This girl is soooo smart. *Rolls Eyes* She thinks she knows everything, when in reality, she's even more stupid than the Dumb Girl.
Why She is "Mean": She thinks she knows so much, that it makes you feel bad about yourself. Seriously, this shit can happen. You express an interesting fact you learned to all these hot soccer guys, and she shoots you down with a contradictory fact that may or may not be true. Either way, you feel stupid.
How To Beat Her: Get a smartphone. When she "proves you wrong" you show her the actual data on that handy dandy iPhone (or ignore her comment and play Words With Friends hmock2). Make her feel like you feel when she does that shit, she'll more than likely stop after about three times of being proved wrong. Nobody likes to be wrong.
10. The Maneater
Description: This girl is after some penis. All day, errday.
Why She is "Mean": She has a tendency to go after your guy friends. The Maneater, by nature, is a heart breaker. This equation can only end badly.
How to Beat Her: Provide an alternative for her. Steer her in the direction of a Douchebag (a later post will explain the types of College Guys). Once they get a taste of each other's medicine/saliva, its not your problem anymore.
Finally,
11. The Stuck-Up Bitch
Description: This girl is pretty, and she knows it. She will flaunt it and have no shame in doing so. Ever.
Why She is "Mean": Confidence is good, no doubt about it. But for you, this girl's confidence shines hotter than the sun. She will probably treat you like crap and lower your self-esteem. Nobody likes a kick in the -self-esteem.
How to Beat Her: DO NOT TRY TO TAKE A JAB AT HER SELF-ESTEEM. This will only cause her to retaliate. Trust me, she's been doing this longer than you, she's better at breaking you down than you are at breaking her down. Instead, befriend her (or try to). If that doesn't work, do what makes you happy, appreciate yourself, give yourself that confidence boost you deserve. Confidence is sexy.
There are always flaws in categorizing people, there are also always combinations of personality types. This was not meant to offend anyone, because, lets face it, I'm a mean girl too. We all have a bit of mean in us (some more than others). So, instead of complaining about how you don't fit into any of these categories, laugh. Don't take life too seriously, because we all die in the end.
<3 Lilly
(**Warning: Offensive Language and Adult Situations**)
1. The Victim
Description: This type of mean girl will constantly play the "everyone hates me" card. She has friends, yet craves even more attention. Possibly the most annoying of all the mean girls.
Why She is "Mean": If you do not show her enough attention, she WILL turn against you by informing others of her status as "The Victim". This will turn you into a piece of shit in the eyes of those who she complains to.
How to
2. The Shit-Talker
Description: This is the girl you can get any information out of (seriously ANY information). She knows what's what and who's fucking who. Chances are, everyone knows this girl has the info, and they just can't get enough of that sweet, sweet gossip.
Why She is "Mean": Well, besides the obvious reason of shit-talking, this girl can ruin your social life (which may or may not be important to you). There is the possibility that this girl will make up things about you, spread them around, and make everyone think you have herpes. Let's face it, herpes is just about the most horrible thing anyone can catch.
How to Beat Her: This one's tough, you want the shit she talks, but don't want to get screwed (or herpes) in the process. You have two options: (1) sacrifice small bits and pieces of your own secrets to get your fill on the people you want the skinny on, or (2) sacrifice your gossip sessions. Gossip is bad anyways. You don't need that shit in your life.
3. The Dumb One
Description: Sweet, but no street smarts.
Why She is "Mean": This girl doesn't even know she's mean. Chances are, you don't either. That makes her quite dangerous, friends. She tries very hard to comfort you, yet says things that just don't make sense. It can hurt. This is probably the least mean of the mean girls, yet still has the tendency to hurt your feelings.
How to
4. The Boyfriend Stealer
Description: Every time you bring a guy home, she flirts with him. She's constantly talking about your man, and the funny shit he did in class today. By your second week of dating him, she's fallen in love.
Why She is "Mean": Shes taking your future sexual partners away from you, how embarrassing.
How to Beat Her: If you don't slap this bitch across the face the first time it happens, she'll probably do it again. For those of you who prefer the less violent route, its time to fight fire with a fire extinguisher. This girl probably has at least one decent looking ex-boyfriend, you should hit him up on facebook. If she sees the friend confirmation, it may set her off (giving her a taste of her own medicine). If she doesn't see the friend confirmation, you best be writing on his wall, or calling him up, or bringing his happy ass over. Just make sure he's not a total psycho first. He may want what you want, revenge. If not, boy toys are always fun for a few weeks, plus it will get this mean boyfriend stealing ho off of your future lays.
5. The Drunk Girl
Description: This girl parties hard. Drinking to get drunk, not because she likes the taste of her liquor. When she gets drunk, she gets nasty.
Why She is Mean: This highly-annoying drunk bitch can ruin your perfectly good time. If she is a friend, she may need babysitting all night at a party. How the hell are you gonna get it in if you have to take care of this drunk all night? If she's not a friend, this drunk girl can ruin your chances with Mr. Right, spill shit on you, or knock you into a wall/ugly guy. Not fun.
How to Beat Her: You could always hide her liquor. But that may make for a mean sober girl. You could replace her alcohol with water or other liquid bullshit. I'm not condoning drugs...but....... ... You could constantly dodge her, or not invite her to the parties you will be at. There's a strong possibility that a lot of other people do not enjoy the company of this drunk girl, therefore she probably won't be invited to all the "cool kid" parties you attend.
6. The Passive-Aggressive Bitch
Description: She says things that make you want to hit her, but she says them in a nice(ish) way.
Why She is "Mean": This actually happened to me recently: A girl told me that I should date a guy she knew. She said "Oh, I've been on a few dates with him, but you can have him". Bitch, I do not want your sloppy seconds. This girl is mean, mean, mean and you can't really do much about it because she says it oh so very sweetly.
How to Beat Her: Be passive-aggressive, or just aggressive, right back. Simple, no? Or you could just slap a ho.
7. The Stuck-Up-Your-Ass Girl
Description: She follows you EVERYWHERE. The bathroom, the kitchen, your bedroom. She's there.
Why She is "Mean"; If this girl is following you everywhere, you don't get to meet new people, she scares off your possible lovers, and she knows a shit ton about you. This can be bad.
How to Beat Her: Find someone else she can be a pain in the ass to, like the Dumb Girl (she won't know whats up). Dump her onto someone else and get your life on.
8. The Sneaky Bitch
Description: She does stuff, and you don't know about it. It could be nailing your boyfriend, or stealing your toilet paper.
Why She is "Mean": She's doing shit, and you don't know about it. Very uncool.
How to Beat Her: If you know about her, you've already started to beat her. She fucks your boyfriend, you tell her love interest. She steals your toilet paper, you take all of the toilet paper in the entire house and trash her room. Or, you could just confront her. Your choice.
9. The One Who "Knows Everything"
Description: This girl is soooo smart. *Rolls Eyes* She thinks she knows everything, when in reality, she's even more stupid than the Dumb Girl.
Why She is "Mean": She thinks she knows so much, that it makes you feel bad about yourself. Seriously, this shit can happen. You express an interesting fact you learned to all these hot soccer guys, and she shoots you down with a contradictory fact that may or may not be true. Either way, you feel stupid.
How To Beat Her: Get a smartphone. When she "proves you wrong" you show her the actual data on that handy dandy iPhone (or ignore her comment and play Words With Friends hmock2). Make her feel like you feel when she does that shit, she'll more than likely stop after about three times of being proved wrong. Nobody likes to be wrong.
10. The Maneater
Description: This girl is after some penis. All day, errday.
Why She is "Mean": She has a tendency to go after your guy friends. The Maneater, by nature, is a heart breaker. This equation can only end badly.
How to Beat Her: Provide an alternative for her. Steer her in the direction of a Douchebag (a later post will explain the types of College Guys). Once they get a taste of each other's medicine/saliva, its not your problem anymore.
Finally,
11. The Stuck-Up Bitch
Description: This girl is pretty, and she knows it. She will flaunt it and have no shame in doing so. Ever.
Why She is "Mean": Confidence is good, no doubt about it. But for you, this girl's confidence shines hotter than the sun. She will probably treat you like crap and lower your self-esteem. Nobody likes a kick in the -self-esteem.
How to Beat Her: DO NOT TRY TO TAKE A JAB AT HER SELF-ESTEEM. This will only cause her to retaliate. Trust me, she's been doing this longer than you, she's better at breaking you down than you are at breaking her down. Instead, befriend her (or try to). If that doesn't work, do what makes you happy, appreciate yourself, give yourself that confidence boost you deserve. Confidence is sexy.
There are always flaws in categorizing people, there are also always combinations of personality types. This was not meant to offend anyone, because, lets face it, I'm a mean girl too. We all have a bit of mean in us (some more than others). So, instead of complaining about how you don't fit into any of these categories, laugh. Don't take life too seriously, because we all die in the end.
<3 Lilly
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